hugzz blog

My Mother's last hug

My Mother died in August 2006. There are many of us who can say the same. Some of us still have our Mother’s and some of us have had to say goodbye. My Mother died from Lung Cancer and for the last six months of her life she would sleep sitting up, propped up with pillows to try to make her comfortable. When we tried to get her to lie down even with the slightest decline, she would become agitated and fearful because she said she could not breath. So we got used to her sleeping, sitting up and she did to, in a way, but it wasn’t easy. Her neck hurt her a lot from sleeping that way, and so I would massage her neck every night. I don’t know if it helped. One evening, her neck really bothered her, and I remember putting my thoughts aside as I tried to really be there for her, to go into her pain, to feel where the muscles were tight, to try to bring some relief. But there was to be no relief. Later that evening I was sitting on the bed with her and she spoke of how much her neck hurt. I could feel how tired she was of the pain, how tired she was of the struggle for each precious breath and in my heart I knew she no longer wanted to be here. We talked for a while and then suddenly, somehow, she managed to wiggle up next to me, and with all the strength she had she put her arm around my back and hugged me as she had never hugged me before. In that moment a life time of love flowed between our hearts, and so much was spoken and shared in that precious moment. My Mother gave me so much in my life, good times and bad times and I returned the same in kind. In that moment we embraced our journey together and from a deep, deep place we honored each other and the love we had for each other. Mom died the following evening. She is on another journey now, but before she went off on her great adventure, my Mother blessed me with this ‘last hug’. Thank you Mom.

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